I was in a toxic relationship
A male perspective
The year 2025 was psychologically perhaps the roughest year of my life. In the past I've had my fair share of chronic pain and misfortunes - even a burnout combined with a somewhat difficult breakup. Yet, having my mind mixed up in a relationship that could be described as toxic seemed to leave the most burdensome imprint to process.
At the end of summer 2024 there was a breakup. It had been quite an intense relationship for me, right from the first encounter. Unfortunately following the breakup, besides the usual heartache and everything I was left with something I call the noise: thoughts going over and over what happened during (and a bit after) the relationship, the rational brain desperately trying to find analytic answers to seemingly irrational events and behavior.
I am writing this text for three reasons mainly. Firstly, as a form of therapy for myself, to dump all the leftover noise from my head to finally free myself of it. Having talked with therapists, they confirmed that writing is a good way to do it, and at least I feel like writing about my burnout did help quite a bit. And, larping the responsible adult, I do not wish to bring baggage with me into future encounters.
Secondly, as with the burnout article, I'm trying to spread information. I loved and cared in the relationship and wanted it to succeed. Even if I noticed the red flags, I still tried as I thought I'm smart enough to handle it. I was really not prepared how it affected me and especially for the noise, i.e. the past year. There also still aren't that many resources for men about these kind of relationships or their effects. You only see the trauma in short YouTube comments and such, and they don't exactly tell you much in the end, before experiencing it yourself. I also understand that it might not be considered manly to even think let alone write about these things, leading to the scarcity of such stories. What's even more confusing is how some of the things I experienced looked like "it's just how women are" - that is, stereotypical patterns one can read about in psychology or hear stories about, but cranked to eleven.
And thirdly, I just want to vent about some of the reasons why I wanted to stay in such a challenging relationship as that relates strongly to the state of modern society (mainly in Finland, but also apparently in the western countries in general). Even if I feel like my generation is somewhat in ruins, I still do want to make the world a better place, and helping people see and understand is a start.
What this writing is not is pointing fingers, shaming or blaming. At no point in my relationship was I angry. I chose to pursue the relationship despite the warning signs.
What does a toxic relationship look like
So, what's this whole deal about a toxic relationship? Why do I think I was in one, even if I dislike the word toxic? There are many ways a relationship can be toxic, but in short, it's a relationship that damages well-being, marked by control, manipulation, disrespect, imbalance, or poor communication. Basically, one person's detrimental behavior will leave the other one drained.
To categorize things a bit, a toxic relationship might include the following for example:
- Control and manipulation: could involve excessive jealousy, possessiveness, or isolating from others.
- Poor communication: manifests itself as blaming, shaming, constant criticism, yelling, or stonewalling.
- Gaslighting: making one doubt their reality, memories, or feelings.
- Lack of respect: dismissing one's needs, boundaries, or devaluing their opinions and appearance.
- Emotional drain: feeling consistently unsatisfied, perhaps even anxious, or like walking on eggshells.
- Imbalance: one person always sacrifices for the other, or there's a power imbalance.
- Unpredictability: rapid mood swings or extreme instability. For some this might be exciting, for others it's mostly exhausting, unnecessary drama.
Most of the above seemed to be present in one way or another in my case, some more than others. Some also bothered me more than others. And some I could tolerate, but when foreseeing the future, I realized things would become impossible without some change.
From the get-go it felt like I was on a roller coaster, with this uneasy feeling the tracks might be broken at some point and a canyon waiting right after. There seemed to be some push-pull dynamic 1 (1m30s) at times. It seemed to mainly stem from a fear of abandonment, which led to more testing 2 (10m30s), which again led to more non-constructive (not advancing the relationship) effort from my side, and eventually both parties spending most of our energy managing negative feelings instead of aiming for the happy, common future and just being grateful of having each other in our lives. The spiral started slowly but surely, and after some point everything was just a mess, like drowning and making things worse by just trying to stay afloat.
A distinct feature I observed was externalizing responsibility about everything, and especially feelings, to me. This is almost like the trend you might see on various media: blaming men for everything - even when no men are involved at all. I might have been minding my own business in another physical location, yet me simply existing made me responsible for a brought up emotion. Unfortunately, usually it wasn't a positive one. This was, again, one of those "is this unhealthy, or is it just women" things - in any case, it's immature, apparently.
One of the things I quite often caught myself doing is, I was scanning the room and trying to guess the mood my partner would be at a time. This is part of walking on eggshells. This sort of stuff doesn't go unnoticed when the other is hypersensitive to any kind of signals, and it makes the problem even worse since for the anxious, it is proof that something is indeed wrong. To feel secure, some drama needs to be introduced then to find out what's up. This was something I was partly responsible for - I was the one doing the walking on shells after all - and I realized it. However, even fixing it had already left the impression and done the damage. I also noticed that normal conversation was often impossible, for one wrong word 1 (3m) possibly resulted in damage that took long to repair. I don't recall resorting to rehearsing conversations in my head that much, I just found myself wondering quite often how I seemingly had stepped into a trap again. Conversely, sometimes after navigating what felt like an unstable, insecure-looking emotional storm surrounding her, it even felt somewhat relieving when the encounter ended. Even if the end result was a "success", I might have felt drained. This felt strange as I was mostly excited and happy to see her initially. Alas, at times relationships do require a lot of imbalanced effort, so it's normal to feel a bit drained at times. But it shouldn't happen too often, let alone be the baseline.
One of the most draining things for me was the shifting rules. There never was certainty whether a situation was about misunderstandings driven by more or less autistic traits on the way the things were said (we both might have had something to improve with this), or if there had been genuine anxiety behind her words and some validation required, or if it was a call for some proof of loyalty for said anxiety, or if it was simply a so-called "shit test" that some women like to do every now and then. The problem is, some of those situations may need enforcing boundaries, some may require being playful, some may require just listening. Some are more serious than others. If the interpretation goes wrong and instead of validation she receives a reminder about boundaries, there's no doubt she would feel dismissed and unsafe, which will lead to more testing. Yet, if the man is not setting clear boundaries and standing his ground, the woman will again feel unsafe and start disrespecting the man even more. It's usually navigable, but in the long run it's a no-win scenario for everyone, and tiring at least. Clear rules and intentions would help a lot.
The disrespect might grow up to ridiculous proportions and critizing might become noticiably projection-based. For example, I have a very good posture, and every now and then receive compliments about it even from random people. Yet, this was one of the things being criticized - how my posture sucks. When the criticizing goes to that point you realize there's an emotional lens 3 - a filter, based on emotion, that skews perception - being in use, through which everything looks bad. This might include even seemingly objective things such as one's income. For example, mine even being almost in the top decile wasn't securily reassuring enough for a temporarily zero income person. Again, this is one of those "is it just modern women" things, when nothing seems enough. In any case, there's no reasonability.
An important thing to realize, which I've learned talking with therapists, is that your own actions, no matter how good willingly and out of love you're doing them, might actually make things worse. So you might be acting as an enabler of sorts. If the person practicing destructive behavior is having moments of self-reflection it will definitely keep the hope up 4 (6m58s), but healing and changing the destructive patterns requires actually taking responsibility, and that might be a huge undertaking. It's important to remember that self-awareness is not the same as responsibility 4 (6m40s). Accountability seems to be a difficult subject for some modern women. If you're not familiar with this claim, do a quick search. It seems to be a very common experience among men in modern relationships, and it's quite easy to see how the "women are victims" narrative persists e.g. in media, both traditional and new - at least here in Finland. This can add to the confusion when trying to assess what are reasonable boundaries.
Borderline personality traits
Trying to break down the toxic behavior in detail to get a better understanding, we must discuss personality traits. One group of those is called borderline personality traits. What is known is that certain kind of incidents in life may increase the risk of borderline traits, and ultimately result in borderline personality disorder (BPD). What is also true is despite the misfortune, as always, it is everyone's responsibility to carry themselves through it in adulthood. The hard part to understand rationally at first about borderline traits is that the feelings of fear and anxiety are actually real from that person's perspective. If a person isn't that mature at handling their emotions, the emotions quickly become the only reality. Combine this with splitting (a common borderline trait) and chaos ensues. As therapist, author, and trauma recovery coach Lise Leblanc explains it 5 (2m6s):
"Her emotions distort reality. Her feelings become facts. One minute she sees you as perfect, the love of her life, and the next she sees you as the enemy, certain that you've betrayed her. Not because of what you've actually done, but because her emotional state has completely changed. When she's flooded with fear, shame, or anger, her perceptions twist to match those feelings. So, a neutral comment from you might sound like rejection to her. A request for space or a boundary might feel like abandonment. And in those moments, she's not faking it or trying to manipulate you. She truly believes what she feels."
This is similar to having an emotional lens, but it's not as much about observing things through it, but just feeling things from within. Yet, both create this twisted version of the outside reality. Nevertheless, this is worth mentioning as it is a good example of how it can be hard to discern whether something's about a neurotic woman's emotional lens, which would be normal and logically understandable, or if it's about something more serious.
Narcissistic personality traits
Everyone has narcissistic traits, but if they form a pervasive pattern, they become a problem, and then we call the person a narcissist. The main traits here are the sense of entitlement and arrogance. But in the covert case, things are different under the surface. I'm quoting Ms. Leblanc again 6:
"Covert narcissists are emotionally immature and wounded. Incredibly insecure, they have low self-worth. You may not recognize this at first because they project the exact opposite: they act strong and resilient, but you will learn that it's all a facade. In time you'll be on the receiving end of their defensive behaviors and no matter how hard you try to convince them that you're not the enemy you will be treated as exactly that."
Narcissistic traits very easily lead to toxicity in a relationship. Now, I don't claim I dealt with a clinical narcissist, but what I saw looked like egocentric and selfish behavior, insecurity within and a considerable need for validation and admiration. All perfectly navigable within moderation, though. On one hand I even saw some self-irony, which at times was even fun. On the other hand, a somewhat hostile attitude combined with sensitivity to criticism and shame were a ticking bomb. In my experience, there's bound to be an incident where negative feelings lead to believing you are trying to criticize or demean the other, which in turn leads to hostility and again more negative an emotional lens.
Since offence is usually the best defense, to avoid being criticized, it's only logical an insecure person might be overly critical and contempt. This kind of behaviour, however, makes a healthy long-term relationship impossible. It is just draining for both parties. I also noticed the strength of the emotional lens working like a positive feedback loop: her criticizing something about me made her see me with more contempt, which again made her criticize me even more. It's really hard to put a stop to the loop. The modern ick 7 trend isn't and wasn't helping, either. That is one of the reasons many men dislike women using social media, as it is easily detrimental. The rise of social media also seems to highly correlate with the entitled and arrogant behavior in modern women. It only makes sense though: if you only receive attention and praise (likes) and are indoctrinated to expect princess treatment ("you deserve it") when growing up, why wouldn't you believe that as an emerging adult.
Narcissistic traits might also lead the person to be manipulative and seeking control. This is also a tricky one, as if a woman wishes to be led (which seems to usually be the case despite some feminist claims), she should let herself be led. This contradicts the controlling behavior, resulting in a conflict. And because the man in a relationship is the closest person and part of the reason for the conflicting emotions, it could be that in the woman's mind this means it must be the man's fault - again leading to more negative an emotional lens.
The both combined
Borderline and narcissistic traits overlap somewhat, but might also play together creating situations that for the partner feel very confusing. As Ms. Leblanc explains it 5 (4m30s):
"When borderline and narcissism combine, you get both distortions at once. And that's what makes it so confusing. The borderline side floods with emotion, creating a false perception, misinterpreting your tone, your intentions, your behavior, your boundaries. But then when the storm passes, instead of calming down and seeing things clearly, the narcissistic side steps in to defend the distortion. She can't face the shame of being wrong. So she locks the false belief, that false interpretation in place. The feeling turns into proof and the narcissistic defenses cements it as though it were reality."
This is how I felt like was happening at times in my relationship. It truly is confusing, for it is completely natural for people to act on their feelings. And personally, I'm totally fine with it now that I've matured and understand the world better - stoicism is mostly a masculine philosophy, after all. But a rational mind would expect the thoughts clouded by emotions to clear at some point, and the person looking back at a situation from another angle. This is what confused me, as often things ended up unexpectedly. Sometimes, I heard later on from my point of view strange or false perceptions about past situations that, again, had contributed to the negative emotional lens. This is also where I could have done better: about how the other person saw things, I often assumed the same as me. Which usually was "the best" (which, in my defense, is a good default mode in a relationship), whereas I shouldn't have assumed anything. Constant and immediate communication would be required so as to reach consensus right away and not to cement the negative feelings as the reality of what happened. This is because the person might end up even cataloguing the grievances 6 (9m45s) for later use.
At times I felt overwhelmed with all the stuff I was expected to bring to the relationship. I might have some self-sacrificing tendencies and I've had to learn to set my boundaries. But, I'm also extremely competent and resourceful a man, so I can keep up with a lot. However, at some point, boundaries must be set, and that's when trouble comes 8 (7m12s):
"With both borderline and narcissism, she doesn't just expect you to meet her emotional needs and provide for her practically and financially. She demands that you regulate her moods, protect her image, and prioritize her needs above everything else. You're supposed to be her therapist, her caretaker, her ATM, her cheerleader, everything all at once. And if you set a boundary, she sees it as abandonment and betrayal. First comes the borderline panic. You don't care about me. You're abandoning me. Then the narcissistic defenses slam into place. How dare you disrespect me? Now you're going to pay for it."
What Ms. Leblanc describes above pretty much sums up how I felt. There was imbalance and manipulation, it was quite draining and that is why I think it was a toxic relationship. A lot of the arguments I experienced seemed to follow this pattern. If you feel similarly in your relationship, talk about it, but be careful not to blame. Remember your partner is probably not trying to be evil on purpose. I mostly chose to somehow try to bear everything and now, from experience, I can say it is the wrong choice, as eventually you'll slip. You just can't take on the responsibility of two adult lives all the time. I know talking is hard because of the other's sensitivity and your confusion, but not talking is surely a losing path. And the sensitive person will sense something anyway. This is one thing I would do differently if I had the chance.
When the emotional lens has turned negative or bored enough, there will be a discard. It will be fast, as the narcissistic traits steer towards a new supply of external validation 9 (2m30s). This is what happened to me also, except the source wasn't another person but a new job. This, however, didn't make my feelings of being discarded and used any smaller, and it took some time to get over those.
However, this more or less constant state of confusion and stress might have another effect on you. When borderline and narcissistic traits, two opposing systems, collide 8 (10m24s):
"The collision doesn't just exhaust you, it destabilizes your entire sense of self and your sense of reality."
This is what I believe led to "the noise" I've been experiencing throughout the year.
The noise
I'm not easily destabilized, but I did end up questioning pretty much everything. All the events during the relationship suddenly could be examined from a different view and motive. This made my mind go through "what if" scenarios and an annoying number of different interpretations to what was said and what happened. There's been just so much stuff to process that if I would draw a picture of it, it would almost look like noise when zooming out. Hence the term noise.
Now I think I really understand what traumatized men mean when they say they are enjoying their peace without a woman. One way to describe the noise is I lost my inner peace. I realized this one day a year after the breakup when I was walking home from a grocery store and crossing a road. Normally, I wouldn't have thought about anything, just looked around to see if there were any cars coming. But I realized there, in the middle of crossing the road, my mind was going through the relationship. Now I know what it means when a man's peace is disturbed: my nothing box, the blissful state of mind where I don't exactly think about anything in particular, has been compromised all year.
I've come across very relatable comments on Ms. Leblanc's YouTube videos from random men:
"If you're in a relationship with somebody like that, you don't get to have emotions anymore. All your emotions must be based off of that other person's emotions, then, if you introduce emotions at the wrong time, it comes back in your face."
"It's like you would know two different people and at the end this worse one is winning."
These two resonated with me. I mean, I was in love with this sweet, charming lady, but who was this other person, the one who seemed to constantly try to derail the relationship? I've also seen a lot of rough comments like these:
"I had got a divorce after a 15 year marriage then after a year I met my now bpd ex gf. It was 2 years of hell tbh and I ended up in therapy from it all."
"There is no one better. All women are like this."
It's sad to read such things and at least the latter man is broken. I'm so grateful for my previous relationship, even if that too wasn't the easiest one. But at least from that I know relationships don't necessarily have to be chaotic by default. I certainly wish anyone's first relationship experience wouldn't be a toxic one.
My analytical, rational mind is used to solving problems in the algorithm most hardcore professionals use:
- Write down the problem.
- Think hard.
- Write down the solution.
However, neither of us exactly understood what the problem even was. I now believe I understand, having found some resources and thought hard. I have now written down the problem. So on my side, the psychological strain came from toxicity created by certain recurring patterns that seemed to be related to certain personality traits. However, this is obviously just my point of view - from her point of view these probably weren't the problem, as she was most likely oblivious to a lot of things I've written here. In any case, I have also thought hard about the solution. Unfortunately I didn't get to test the solution in practice. But, I hope writing this article will bring the noise levels down, and my SINAD back to high-fidelity levels.
Miscommunication
Something I've noticed and paid a lot of attention to lately is the different ways people interpret words and intentions. This is especially true if one party is showing signs of autistic traits and the other doesn't realize it in the moment. I believe this happened to me also a few times. The common miscommunication is that the autistic person might ask something in a way that, depending on the situation and context, could easily be interpreted as passive-aggressive, disrespectful and intentionally argumentative.
This is something I should have paid even more attention to during the relationship, and I'm quite sure I did cause confusion at least in one occasion. It was a situation that felt very disrespectful to me and I stood by my boundaries. This, however resulted in a full-on conflict that I still think about, almost two years later. Instead, I should have double-checked what she meant by what she said, and tried to understand her intention better. In a relationship it also helps if the woman is not low in agreeableness.
But then again, this is one of those "what if" scenarios. Without trauma and toxicity, even a case of serious miscommunication can probably be talked through, with love and aspiration to understand each other.
Toxic relationships and the modern society
The first thing someone might ask is why would anybody stay in a relationship like that, if it was so confusingly challenging as I have written. There's basically two reasons. Firstly, and perhaps trivially: I loved her, and I liked her a lot when things weren't going sideways. She had qualities that nowadays seem very rare in women, e.g. a traditional attractive appearance and this playful demeanour I found really fun to be around - we had similar sense of humor. It felt like I wanted to offer to her what I would bring to the table, and I feel like I had a lot to offer to her explicitly. So in that sense, it felt like a good match.
Secondly, I really wanted a woman. And this isn't about needing love, I've matured years ago to realize I've got love inside me already. But I did want someone to love, and obviously a romantic partner implies certain other things also. I've seen life and world enough all by myself. Combine this with the rarity of such woman and you bet I was going above and beyond to make things work, even if the chances of a secure relationship seemed suboptimal at best.
How come I think such women are so rare, then. Let's look at some facts about the current dating market. The vast majority of people nowadays meet or try to meet on dating apps, Tinder being the biggest one. So, this text mostly concerns the apps, and hence it might seem absolutely nuts to a person who isn't familiar with the scene. In the apps, women seem to have an easy time compared to even a quite successful man like me. The data shows that on average, women match 16 times more likely than men when they give a like. However, those likes aren't spread evenly among men. Women like less than 5% of men. This doesn't necessarily mean the 5% would be exactly the same men, but the anectodal evidence seems to support the idea: the average men gets hardly any opportunities (matches), whereas the very top few percent (by looks, as Tinder is in practice mostly about looks) get almost all the matches. This is akin to common feminist claims about how patriarchy benefits all men, when in reality the ones they are thinking of are a few outliers, e.g. those in some rare CEO positions.
In Finland, as of 2025, around 70% of women are not fit, but fat. This is almost the same as "overweight" as they say in the statistics, but not really - understanding the history of BMI helps to understand why it downplays the amount of fat women and exaggerates the amount of fat men. If traditional feminity attracts you as a man (which I still believe is the most common case), it's a rough time 10 to seek a partner: a lot of women on dating apps have many tattoos (perhaps even the majority, and at least they are more popular among women than men), things like septum piercings are common as per current trends, colored short hair is seen every now and then, and hostile attitude 11 towards men isn't rare. The main media has been pushing out misandrist propaganda for decades already, upholding the victim mentality for women. Unlike the USA, Finland doesn't have a two-party political system, but the split in people's world views is somewhat similar here. These have led to there being a lot of tension and mistrust between sexes to begin with.
Thus, most women with traditionally attractive qualities are probably in high demand and also probably in a long-term relationship (even marriage) from quite a young age already. It's just a case of supply and demand, and there's an imbalance on the available sources for the most commonly sought out goods 12. I haven't met many women above the age of 30, who are seeking a relationship without finding one, where it hasn't been quite clear what the culprit for her was. Most of the time it's because she's not fit - a problem that'd be easy to fix if she actually wanted to. Before anybody calls misogyny, I'm not trying to dictate how women should look or act - they are absolutely free to seek whatever they want, be it a career, fame, or a millionaire werewolf, you name it. But they should remember accountability - how their actions and choices affect their options and attractiveness in both good and bad, and I think this is where the modern feminist society with its victim narrative has failed them.
Now, men are facing a somewhat hostile society 13 (1m9s), somewhat hostile women and obviously competition from other men. It's very hard to get to the top decile in every aspect of life, and even that might not be enough, for as the demand rises, the supply raises the bar. But in the end, are there even enough women who would be a good fit for the kind of relationship such a man would get something out of? The juice ain't worth the squeeze 14, some say. It normally easily takes a decade or two for a man to build themselves up there, and many never will or can. It requires a lot of luck to reach that level before the age of, say, 30, when there still might be some realistic possibility to meet women outside the dating apps circus and salsa classes. This is why a lot of men have given up on finding a relationship altogether, and I believe birth-rates will keep dropping unless the zeitgeist changes into more positive towards masculinity (and femininity) and men in general. I'm not sure if low birth-rates necessarily are a problem, but we are humans after all and having family is important for the well-being of many, and we are already facing a pension crisis. Advanced robotics might be a solution, but I think artificial intelligence is a somewhat dystopian, inhumane route to take. I'm also not saying times are easy for all the women, either. It's just that the reasons are different and women can do much to directly improve their situation.
This might sound like complaining, but I'm merely stating how things seem to be, and explaining a reason why would someone like me try so hard to build a relationship that seems unstable from the get-go. I think I've just learned to appreciate relationships in general, for nowadays their existence is not trivial at all. So if I finally found a person I like and love, I'm going for it despite the difficulties. I think the world is a beautiful place full of beautiful things, but modern romantic relationships have been harmed by feminism and social media, spreading joylessness, even depression. I would advice all men in good relationships to remind their women of their love and gratitude, for they have earned it.
Conclusion
I don't know if my partner had BPD, or if she would qualify as a narcissist, or if she was just neurotic to the bone, and I don't exactly even care about that. Those are just labels, and I loved her. The point is, some of the related traits could most certainly be seen, and this is how they affected me. The whole thing was something I hadn't encountered before, except for some videos and stories online. If I had no prior knowledge of such behavior, I would have probably been quite flabbergasted. Most of the time what I encountered was what a stereotypical women's behavior might look like, and most of the time I convinced myself that it was just that. Sometimes things truly seemed so, and at least I learned a lot. However, there's moderation to everything.
Encountering toxic behavior is not a question of whether you are or should be in love with your partner, but about having a functional relationship. On some level I still miss the woman. This might sound silly, but in the end, there was this sweet lady underneath all the destructive behavior. The kind I'd like to cherish and protect, make happily smile, have adventures with - and I've never been angry with her about this whole thing. After all, how could I? It was I who chose to pursue the relationship on my part, my love wasn't conditional, and I don't believe she tried to act badly. From my point of view, it was just about the practical impossibility of things creating cognitive dissonance and emotional strain, and the disappointment at how the other avoided responsibility.
If you find yourself in a similar situation to the one I've described and wish to keep the relationship going, my personal advice is to make her feel - and understand - that you do in fact love and like her, and that you want to provide a secure frame in which she can lower her guard. After all the things I did, I don't think I ever explicitly told her, in those words, what I'm trying to do - or if I did, for sure the message didn't get through. And lastly, a critical part: seek professional help together, for the outlook is quite poor without it. You need that light from the outside. The other option is to concede and accept that a healthy long-term relationship just isn't possible with the person 15.
Lastly, I'm sorry for causing any of those negative emotions she had to live through because of me, as obviously I never meant to hurt her. Even if I never was terrible, I know I wasn't always the very best version of me, either. I could have followed my own advice above if I knew better. I still feel a bit bad for both of us, and I think I'd probably been a huge help. In any case, hopefully next year would bring something positive, with this text I'd finally get rid of the noise, and this experience wasn't in vain. And, if a random reader stumbles upon this text, they'd gain something positive from it.
Video sources (YouTube):
1. Lise Leblanc - 10 Red Flags Your Relationship is Toxic (See It Before It’s Too Late)
2. Lise Leblanc - Why People With BPD Sabotage Love
3. Orion Taraban - The lens of attraction: why you can't do anything right
4. Lise Leblanc - The Harsh Truth: Why She's Not Going to Change (Hope Is a Trap)
5. Lise Leblanc - When She Has Borderline and Narcissistic Traits — The Most Dangerous Combo
6. Lise Leblanc - 10 Defensive Tactics of the Female Covert Narcissist by Lise Leblanc
7. hoe_math (PsychoMath) - Ick Structure
8. Lise Leblanc - She Loves You, Then Hates You: 5 Signs of Borderline + Narcissistic Traits
9. Lise Leblanc - 10 Reasons Narcissists Cut You Off Abruptly
10. Hannah Spier, MD - The Real Reason Beauty Standards Changed — And Why Men Pay the Price
11. Hannah Spier, MD - How Academia Taught Women to Hate Men
12. Orion Taraban - Sex and attention: the most reinforcing good
13. Jordan B Peterson - The Current Crisis of Masculinity
14. Orion Taraban - The JUICE isn't worth the SQUEEZE
15. Orion Taraban - You CAN'T HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP with anyone: understanding the importance of selection
